Diagnosed with Social Anxiety (a.k.a. Social Phobia) over five years ago now, I promised I'd keep posting, to spread awareness of this condition, and to give confidence to those suffering with Social Anxiety, that a happy life is possible, even if it is a little different! 😜
Since my last post, I've moved jobs again! I spent five years at the last place, and reached a senior management position, which was great. Nobody other than HR knew of my condition, and I hid behind the slightly awkward nature of many in IT, such that I didn't stand out.
After five years there, I realised I was focusing completely on work, and not having a personal life. This is common as I understand it with Social Anxiety sufferers, we lose ourselves in something we enjoy, to prevent us having to do the things we don't enjoy! But having no personal life isn't healthy, and I do want to settle down with a partner at some point.
If you're a follower of my blog, you'll know that I like to screw with my brain at times, by putting myself outside my comfort zone. In reality, I believe this is key to coping with Social Anxiety... challenging yourself. Not far, but slightly outside your comfort zone.
So I resigned, and put myself on the IT Contractor market. The Contractor market means potentially lots of change, interviews and new people. In reality however, I know contractors often stay in the same place for months if not years. So my plan was simple: use the flexibility of contracting, to take time off during the year, by placing it between roles. This would give me time to have a bit of a life, at least.
When it comes to interviews, I did one on the phone which was unsuccessful, and one in-person. I've found my tactic for calming my nerves for interviews... convince yourself you don't need the job.
It may sound odd, but everyone tells me to "just be yourself". In reality, everyone says this, but it feels impossible to do. My tactic does just that though... I went in relaxed, but chatty. We discussed their issues, and I explained how I'd seen it all before... nattered about previous situations I'd been in, and completely won them over!
I find it so amusing that someone with Social Anxiety (that would be me), can come across so much more relaxed and approachable than someone without the condition. I feel it's important to see what positives your condition can give you. For me, my understanding of my Social Anxiety gives me a better awareness of how I tick, and what makes me anxious than someone without the condition. Playing to this strength, I feel I'm progressing in life, which makes me happy.
In the end, it took me 6 weeks to find the right role, but I found it, and have been in post for 3 weeks now, in the 3 month contract. They've already asked if I would convert to permanent. I said "no", as I don't want to give up on the experiment, but I have agreed to an extension to 12 months, which is a long time as a contractor.
The downside is of course that I've not got a gap in that time, but we'll see how it goes. I feel positive that the environment I'm in is lower pressure and higher support than I've had before.
So am I over my Social Anxiety? No. That's never going to happen, but I have it under control. I have skin issues at the moment, and I'm aware what that can do for my anxiety, so just practice calming myself where appropriate, to minimise its impact on my life.
And as I'm using this blog as a bit of a diary... what are my next goals? Well I continue to feel I'm missing out by being close to 40 now, and still not having a relationship to talk of. My dream is to win the Euromillions jackpot (if I'm honest), and move out into the country, living with a positive lady who makes me smile, and loves the quirky person that I've become!
I realise I speak positively on this blog, as I believe in being positive in life, and I'm generally a happy person. I want to be honest though that Social Anxiety is an ongoing challenge for me. It still makes me uncomfortable to leave the house, particularly at weekends when I don't strictly have to. For anyone looking for advice, I'd say it's key to manage your condition: challenge yourself a little (to minimise the areas of your life it heavily impacts), and celebrate by congratulating yourself on success however minor.
Until next time... take care and enjoy yourself!
Since my last post, I've moved jobs again! I spent five years at the last place, and reached a senior management position, which was great. Nobody other than HR knew of my condition, and I hid behind the slightly awkward nature of many in IT, such that I didn't stand out.
After five years there, I realised I was focusing completely on work, and not having a personal life. This is common as I understand it with Social Anxiety sufferers, we lose ourselves in something we enjoy, to prevent us having to do the things we don't enjoy! But having no personal life isn't healthy, and I do want to settle down with a partner at some point.
If you're a follower of my blog, you'll know that I like to screw with my brain at times, by putting myself outside my comfort zone. In reality, I believe this is key to coping with Social Anxiety... challenging yourself. Not far, but slightly outside your comfort zone.
So I resigned, and put myself on the IT Contractor market. The Contractor market means potentially lots of change, interviews and new people. In reality however, I know contractors often stay in the same place for months if not years. So my plan was simple: use the flexibility of contracting, to take time off during the year, by placing it between roles. This would give me time to have a bit of a life, at least.
When it comes to interviews, I did one on the phone which was unsuccessful, and one in-person. I've found my tactic for calming my nerves for interviews... convince yourself you don't need the job.
It may sound odd, but everyone tells me to "just be yourself". In reality, everyone says this, but it feels impossible to do. My tactic does just that though... I went in relaxed, but chatty. We discussed their issues, and I explained how I'd seen it all before... nattered about previous situations I'd been in, and completely won them over!
I find it so amusing that someone with Social Anxiety (that would be me), can come across so much more relaxed and approachable than someone without the condition. I feel it's important to see what positives your condition can give you. For me, my understanding of my Social Anxiety gives me a better awareness of how I tick, and what makes me anxious than someone without the condition. Playing to this strength, I feel I'm progressing in life, which makes me happy.
In the end, it took me 6 weeks to find the right role, but I found it, and have been in post for 3 weeks now, in the 3 month contract. They've already asked if I would convert to permanent. I said "no", as I don't want to give up on the experiment, but I have agreed to an extension to 12 months, which is a long time as a contractor.
The downside is of course that I've not got a gap in that time, but we'll see how it goes. I feel positive that the environment I'm in is lower pressure and higher support than I've had before.
So am I over my Social Anxiety? No. That's never going to happen, but I have it under control. I have skin issues at the moment, and I'm aware what that can do for my anxiety, so just practice calming myself where appropriate, to minimise its impact on my life.
And as I'm using this blog as a bit of a diary... what are my next goals? Well I continue to feel I'm missing out by being close to 40 now, and still not having a relationship to talk of. My dream is to win the Euromillions jackpot (if I'm honest), and move out into the country, living with a positive lady who makes me smile, and loves the quirky person that I've become!
I realise I speak positively on this blog, as I believe in being positive in life, and I'm generally a happy person. I want to be honest though that Social Anxiety is an ongoing challenge for me. It still makes me uncomfortable to leave the house, particularly at weekends when I don't strictly have to. For anyone looking for advice, I'd say it's key to manage your condition: challenge yourself a little (to minimise the areas of your life it heavily impacts), and celebrate by congratulating yourself on success however minor.
Until next time... take care and enjoy yourself!
