Psychologist Appointment 1 to tackle my Social Anxiety

Well apologies, it must be 2 weeks now since my first psychologist appointment. I guess I've been taking in the meeting, and getting on with a busy work life.

The appointment was in a doctor's surgery in a town just 5 miles up the road from my house, but an easy trip. It was an afternoon appointment, at my request (to ensure I was prepared), and I'd taken the day off work so there were no distractions.

I turned up 20 minutes before the appointment, found someone to park, and waited. As it reached 10 minutes before, I wandered to the surgery, and found the placed locked up. It was just after lunch, but I wanted to ensure I wasn't late... having hunted around, I took a wander up the road to clear my head, realising they wouldn't want me in before formal reopening.

As I returned to the surgery some 5 minutes later, I saw my Psychologist turn up (assumed at the time, but it really was her). I contemplated saying something to get me, but thought better of it. I saw her goto the door, hit the buzzer, and be let in.

A few minutes later, I did the same... a lady answered and happily let me in, saying they hadn't quite reopened yet, but I could wait in the waiting room. This settled my nerves, I wasn't late, and was in the right place now.

A few minutes later, I met my Psychologist. She led me through to a carpeted and excessively large room, and asked me to take a seat. Probably the most awkward part of the session came next, as she asked me to describe my issue. There's something horrid about explaining something you know to be a completely illogical overreaction to a situation.

We went on to look at some pre-work I had been asked to complete, in a letter from the people behind this session. She explained that Social Anxiety is difficult to root cause, but that it was common for sufferers to use my trick of flight, in the "fight or flight" situation of anxiety. The whole session took about 50 minutes, and gave her the knowledge of me she needed to give me my new homework!

It seems I was naturally leading myself in the right direction by starting to test myself, and put myself in uncomfortable situations. Her council led to a simple message... everyone suffers with anxiety, that's normal. But it is experience of these situations which leads us to realise that relax our anxieties in certain situations. The fact that I avoid, or minimise, social activity only reinforces the assumption that this anxiety is bad. In-fact, small exposure to low risk social activities will naturally lead to more comfort, and less anxiety.

Common sense, definitely... and for me an overwhelming pleasure that my current direction was actually already good. I just need to step into more of these situations.

The Slip Personality of Work versus Personal life

I've always found it odd that I suffer in my personal life with Social Anxiety, but not my work life. I did put this to my Psychologist. Apparently this is very common (regardless of anxieties) for people to act quite differently in their personal and work life's.

Next Step

Well I've got a list of exercises I should start to do. Basically everything from asking someone the time to complimenting someone you don't know. I've also got a list to create (and rank) of situations (as detailed as possible), that make my anxiety surface.

I've got another meeting this Thursday, so we'll see how that goes. They're now just 20 minute catch-up sessions to monitor my progress. It's really down to me from here.

A Cure?

One final thing I did ask my Psychologist, was where the end game was. Could I expect to be rid of anxiety, and "normal" as I would put it, without meaning to insult myself.

Her response was "no". Anxiety is something I should expect to always live with, I just need to acknowledge it, and realise when to challenge it. Not the best news, but something I'm sure I can live with... so long as I can stop it from stopping me from doing things I'd actually like to do!

On Reflection - for those keeping social anxiety to yourselves

If you suffer with Social Anxiety, seriously speak with your doctor. This appointment was slightly uncomfortable for me, of course. It was however really not that bad, and it gave me direction in where I need to go to control it.

I'm really glad I went along to it. It's not changed me yet, but I hope it's started me on my way.