Phimosis (tight foreskin) - Diary of stretching with hydrocortisone cream results

For those used to this blog covering the subject of my Social Anxiety, this post title about phimosis (basically an overly tight foreskin) may come as a surprise. Well it did to me too.

I was reading some articles online recently, when I came rather randomly on a story on a man who hadn't had sex due to the pain he associated with it.

Whilst I've always blamed my Social Anxiety for my lack of sex, this article resonated with me, and I read on. Yes, I've always been concerned that sex would be painful, and this article made me realise, my foreskin maybe the reason for this assumption of mine.

The article helpfully pointed out that a mans foreskin should comfortably (without pain) be able to stretch over the head of the penis, when erect as well as well flacid. Oh bugger, mine doesn't do that!

Seeing a Doctor about my phimosis

Long story short, I wasn't comfortable going to a Doctor for this alone, but wanted to sort this out, as it could be another part of the puzzle in getting me confident about a relationship.

I had to go to the Doctor for another matter, so tagged this on the end... "oh, if you've just got a couple more minutes...". He obliged, confirmed this may not be something we needed to deal with, but suggested getting circumcised.

I'd already read enough online to know this was a common challenge, but that steroid creams exist that *may* be able to help. I pointed this out and he did some quick research before prescribing me Hydrocortisone cream.

OK, so I know many say this cream does nothing, but I'm going to diarise how I get on here.

For anyone wanting try this cream by the way, it doesn't need a prescription in the UK, and appears to be cheaper to buy without one too!

First impressions

Well I'm not ready to upload any photos of down below yet, though I did take a couple at the start to compare with.

I'm lucky enough that my foreskin will, with a bit of effort, stretch without pain over the head of my penis when flacid. I've therefore been "exercising" the skin by applying the cream, and stretching by getting a slight erection. I'm sure this isn't recommended as you don't have the control your fingers give, but I feel it's a more even way to stretch, and I was struggling to get my fingers in a holding a stretch.

After a couple of days of stretching with the cream now, I think I'm stretching more than I was initially. How much of this is the cream, versus what would happen without it, I have no idea. At a cost of £9 for the prescription though (around $12), I'm not going to worry about it!

I'll look to post here over the next few weeks, as I'm led to believe by others that I should see results in that time. My only challenge is finding the time. I'm likely to do more stretching at the weekend (30 minutes in the morning so far). Week days however maybe a rare stretch. Let's see how I get on!

2 months later

Well I'd love to say that I've stuck at it, but I gave up on the cream after a couple of weeks as I wasn't confident it was helping.

I'm lucky enough that I could pull my foreskin back when flacid, so that's exactly what I've been doing each day in the shower, and then leaving it like that while I finish my shower, shave, clean my teeth and get dressed. I then put myself back to normal before leaving the house in the morning.

Whilst I don't believe this has resolved things completely, I'm confident things are better, and there's no longer a white stretch line on my foreskin when pulled back .. so this approach has definitely been successful for me! Unfortunately the lack of white stretched skin line probably means I'm not getting any further benefit from this approach (the skin has to be stretched well to encourage the skin to expland, so I need to find a way of continuing the stretching further as it still does pull back when I'm erect. I'll update on that when I have a chance to find what works or doesn't!

If you can pull back without serious discomfort, I think this approach is a great first step. The jury's out on whether it can resolve things completely, but I've definitely seen significant improvement, even if its not where I need it yet... so I'm happy to say this is certainly helping reduce the issue for me... exciting times!

What it's like living with Social Anxiety

Diagnosed with Social Anxiety (a.k.a. Social Phobia) over five years ago now, I promised I'd keep posting, to spread awareness of this condition, and to give confidence to those suffering with Social Anxiety, that a happy life is possible, even if it is a little different! 😜

Since my last post, I've moved jobs again! I spent five years at the last place, and reached a senior management position, which was great. Nobody other than HR knew of my condition, and I hid behind the slightly awkward nature of many in IT, such that I didn't stand out.

After five years there, I realised I was focusing completely on work, and not having a personal life. This is common as I understand it with Social Anxiety sufferers, we lose ourselves in something we enjoy, to prevent us having to do the things we don't enjoy! But having no personal life isn't healthy, and I do want to settle down with a partner at some point.

If you're a follower of my blog, you'll know that I like to screw with my brain at times, by putting myself outside my comfort zone. In reality, I believe this is key to coping with Social Anxiety... challenging yourself. Not far, but slightly outside your comfort zone.

So I resigned, and put myself on the IT Contractor market. The Contractor market means potentially lots of change, interviews and new people. In reality however, I know contractors often stay in the same place for months if not years. So my plan was simple: use the flexibility of contracting, to take time off during the year, by placing it between roles. This would give me time to have a bit of a life, at least.

When it comes to interviews, I did one on the phone which was unsuccessful, and one in-person. I've found my tactic for calming my nerves for interviews... convince yourself you don't need the job.

It may sound odd, but everyone tells me to "just be yourself". In reality, everyone says this, but it feels impossible to do. My tactic does just that though... I went in relaxed, but chatty. We discussed their issues, and I explained how I'd seen it all before... nattered about previous situations I'd been in, and completely won them over!

I find it so amusing that someone with Social Anxiety (that would be me), can come across so much more relaxed and approachable than someone without the condition. I feel it's important to see what positives your condition can give you. For me, my understanding of my Social Anxiety gives me a better awareness of how I tick, and what makes me anxious than someone without the condition. Playing to this strength, I feel I'm progressing in life, which makes me happy.

In the end, it took me 6 weeks to find the right role, but I found it, and have been in post for 3 weeks now, in the 3 month contract. They've already asked if I would convert to permanent. I said "no", as I don't want to give up on the experiment, but I have agreed to an extension to 12 months, which is a long time as a contractor.

The downside is of course that I've not got a gap in that time, but we'll see how it goes. I feel positive that the environment I'm in is lower pressure and higher support than I've had before.

So am I over my Social Anxiety? No. That's never going to happen, but I have it under control. I have skin issues at the moment, and I'm aware what that can do for my anxiety, so just practice calming myself where appropriate, to minimise its impact on my life.

And as I'm using this blog as a bit of a diary... what are my next goals? Well I continue to feel I'm missing out by being close to 40 now, and still not having a relationship to talk of. My dream is to win the Euromillions jackpot (if I'm honest), and move out into the country, living with a positive lady who makes me smile, and loves the quirky person that I've become!

I realise I speak positively on this blog, as I believe in being positive in life, and I'm generally a happy person. I want to be honest though that Social Anxiety is an ongoing challenge for me. It still makes me uncomfortable to leave the house, particularly at weekends when I don't strictly have to. For anyone looking for advice, I'd say it's key to manage your condition: challenge yourself a little (to minimise the areas of your life it heavily impacts), and celebrate by congratulating yourself on success however minor.

Until next time... take care and enjoy yourself!